Messed Up Romance
by KatEyes21
Summary: A sinister plot. Naraku casts a spell over the group, making everyone fall in love with the first person they see. Who will they end up with? Read to find out. Rated for swearing & a little citris content.                  ComedyXRomance
1. Chapter 1

_**My first attempt at writing a comedy fic. My sister and I were discussing all the wacky combinations we could make. Like having Inuyasha fall in love with Naraku. It has changed a little since then, but I hope you like it.**_

**_Authors note: I reposted this and broke up the paragraphs per one of my reviewers advice. Does it make it a better read?_**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha (cry). Here's how things would turn out if I did own Inu.**_

**_Warning: Inuyasha is kind of a poty mouth._**

What happens when Naraku decides to mess with our favorite Inuyasha characters? Lots of mayhem and hilarity ensues.

**Messed Up Romance**

**chapter 1**

It was a chilly day in the feudal era. Kagome had just jumped out of the bone eaters well.

"Hey, what took you so long!?" Inuyasha asked looking crosser than usual. "I just caught the scent of Naraku. He's close so hurry up and get moving."

At this the young priestess started to chew him out. "Well, I guess I'm not as important to you as Naraku. Why don't you just admit that you're secretly in love with him?"

Inuyasha freaked out when he heard the lies she was spewing. "WHAT!!? I ain't in love with that bastard! What the hell are you talking about?"

Kagome just smirked. "Well, I have been gone for nearly a month. All you can do is obsess over Naraku. How about saying 'Hey Kagome how have you been?' or 'Great to see you back. We missed you.'? I don't know why I even bother coming back at all. Maybe I should just stay away for good next time."

Inuyasha looked hurt at first. Then he crossed his arms and looked straight into her eyes. "Fine. We don't need you anyway."

Miroku was furious to hear him berate her in this manner. "Inuyasha, how can you be so insensitive!? Kagome has done you no harm! She was only hurt that you would not bother to say something nice to her. She has been gone so long and all you can do is tell her to hurry up?"

Kagome looked from Inuyasha then to Miroku. "No Miroku it's okay. Inuyasha is just upset that his precious Naraku hasn't shown him any romantic interest." She said this with a laugh that could be heard all through the field. Soon everyone was laughing. Everyone except Inuyasha.

"You guys really piss me off! Just go to hell all of you!"

Suddenly a sinister laughter could be heard, seemingly from nowhere. They had been so distracted by the fight that they didn't notice when Naraku had appeared.

"Well, well, well. Inuyasha I didn't know you cared." He cooed in his usual cold manner.

"And here I thought you were in love with this annoying girl." Motioning towards Kagome with a sweep of his hand.

Inuyasha started blushing profusely. "The hell I'm in love with her."

Naraku smiled at an evil thought that crossed his mind. (_Wonder what that could be._)

"Just who are you calling annoying!?" Kagome glared at him with a look of pure hatred.

"As for you Inuyasha. Just what is wrong with being in love with me!?"

Inuyasha started cowering like a little baby. She had just given him that same look she gave Naraku.

"My dear miko. If Inuyasha is in love with me who does that leave for you?"

"I shall give you another to share your affections with. The same goes for the rest of you."

"Inuyasha I can't have you running around telling people you love me. I have a reputation to protect after all."

"I shall put a spell on you when you least expect it. You shall all fall madly in love with the first person you see."

With that Naraku had vanished. Inuyasha called after him. "You damn bastard! You know I ain't in love with you!"

"Oh man. What kind of thing do you think he'll try. I don't want to fall in love with a toad or anything."

Kagome looked to each of her friends.

"Yeah, I don't want to fall for something gross like that either. Especially not someone like Miroku."

Sango was trying her best to keep a strait face when she looked over at the flirtatious monk.

"Oh Sango your words cut me deeply. If you were to fall for me it would make me happy to say the least."

Sango just pretended not to care for Miroku's words. However, she couldn't deny to herself how it made her heart flutter.

"Well I won't be affected by his spell. I'm too young to fall in love. I don't even know anything about love yet."

Shippo looked to Kagome with pleading eyes. He wanted someone to explain exactly what this love thing was.

"Um, Kagome? Could you tell me what love is? Does it have something to do with sex?"

Kagome blushed when everyone started staring at her wondering what she would say.

"I know that my parents loved each other. One day I walked into the den when they thought I was out playing with my friends. They were naked kneeling on furs on the floor. I heard mommy crying out that it felt good then daddy screamed and fell down on top of momma's back."

"When they saw me they looked really guilty. They yelled at me and told me to go back outside."

"Was that sex?"

Kagome looked as though her cheeks were on fire.

"Um, I don't know what you saw Shippo. Maybe you should just wait until your older to ask questions like that."

Shippo was not satisfied with this answer. He looked over at Inuyasha.

"Inuyasha, you were in love with Kikyou weren't you? Did you ever do anything like that with her?"

Inuyasha barked at Shippo furiously. "How is that any of your business you little brat? Why don't you ask the monk about sex? I'm sure he has more experience than any of us."

Sango glared at Inuyasha, but he took no notice of her. He was enjoying putting Miroku on the spot.

"Miroku, won't you explain it to me?" Shippo waited until Miroku collected his thoughts.

"Well, you see my young friend. When a man and a woman have a mutual attraction..."

Sango and Kagome both glared at Miroku. "You will not tell him monk he's only a child." Sango spat at him through gritted teeth. "Alright, alright Sango. Please ladies don't look at me like that."

The group was starting to get tired of this conversation. So they decided that they would head for Lady Kaede's hut. Maybe she would have some advice to give. She might be able to help them break the spell.

_**Give me props if you think it's a good idea so far. I have a good idea of who will fall for whom. You'll just have to read the next chapter to find out. I will not update until I get at least one good review. I have to know that my stories aren't falling on deaf ears. Tootles.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I know, I said I wanted to get more reviews. I just couldn't wait for you guys any longer. Maybe this chapter will grab some ones attention. Please read and let me know if I should continue or not. In the next chapter Naraku will make another appearance. So keep your socks on, I just had to set up the story so our characters could fall for whomever I deem they should fall for. I am so devious, aren't I? I may have more lemony goodness in future chapters. So keep reading.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the other characters in this story.**_

**Messed Up Romance**

**Chapter 2**

Upon arriving at the village, the group set out to find Lady Kaede.

Kagome walked into the hut they shared with the elderly priestess. 'I don't see her anywhere.' She walked outside to address the others. "She's not in her hut. I wonder where she could be. Maybe she's out picking wild herbs or something."

Inuyasha looked irritated. "Why is it whenever we need her she's never around? Kagome, you know where the special herbs grow around here. Why don't we go out there and see if we can find her?"

"Yeah, that might be best. Sango, why don't you and Miroku stay here? We'll take Shippo with us. He might be useful in tracking her sent."

Sango was not too happy about the idea of staying in Kaede's hut alone with the lecherous monk. Miroku on the other hand, was all too eager. "Well, if you think that is best Lady Kagome then we will stay behind." Miroku tried to hide his enthusiasm with much difficulty.

Sango saw right through him. "Oh no you don't monk. I know exactly what you're thinking. There is no way I'm going to let you try anything while they're away. So just forget it." Turning to Kagome, she gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry Kagome, I didn't mean to ignore your question. If that's what you really want then Miroku and I will stay and wait for Kaede."

"Thank you guys. We'll hurry back as soon as we can. There's no telling how long it will take, but we should be gone no longer than a few hours."

Always the ancy one, Inuyasha huffed under his breath something about wasting too much time. "Let's go Kagome." Kagome nodded to Inuyasha, then she waved good bye to her friends.

"Come on Shippo. We ain't waitin for you all day." Shippo ran over to Kagome, stuck his tongue out at the half demon, and then jumped into Kagome's arms before Inuyasha could hit him.

"You little brat." Inuyasha was about to pry Shippo out of Kagome's arms, but he thought better of it when he saw the warning glance Kagome had given him. Kagome then climbed onto Inuyasha's back with Shippo clinging to her shoulders. With one more huff of annoyance from Inuyasha, they were off.

Inuyasha leapt through the air with little care as to the extra weight he was now encumbered with. 'I could carry her like this all day. It feels like heaven when she's so close to me. I can feel her heart beat through my clothes. Her womanly sent is intoxicating. I like feeling her small arms wrapped around my shoulders. Not to mention the fact that her large chest is now firmly planted against my back. It's too bad that I can't tell her that I like her being near me. Maybe we wouldn't fight so much if I did.'

"Inuyasha, you're being even more quiet than usual. Is everything alright? Are you still mad at me for that crack about you being gay for Naraku? You know that I was just venting because you made me so mad."

"What? To tell the truth Kagome I forgot all about that. I was just thinking about (_blush)_…. about finding Kaede to fix this spell."

Shippo looked over Inuyasha's shoulder. By Inuyasha's scent he knew that the half demon was having another of his Mirokuish thoughts. "Is that really what you were just thinking about Inuyasha?"

"Of course it is Shippo!" Inuyasha glared at Shippo who was now sitting on his shoulder.

"If that's true, then why do you have the scent that my father had when he and my mother were having that sex thing?" Shippo looked at Inuyasha with a smug grin when he noticed the beet red color Inuyasha's face had turned.

Kagome just turned her face away to try to keep from laughing. She too was beginning to turn a bright shade of red. "Um, Shippo why don't you come back to my shoulder before you make Inuyasha angry?"

(Back to the hut and our would be lovers.)

"Well now, my sweet it looks like we are all alone. What ever will we do to pass the time?"

"Miroku, don't even think about….."

He interrupted her before she could finish crushing his beautiful dream. "I know, how about a little game of phase 10? That should be fun." Miroku looked at her with a sparkle in his eye. 'She thought I was going to say something perverted. I just love keeping her guessing. How I wish I could give my Sango just one little innocent kiss. Who am I kidding, none of the things I would want to do to her is entirely innocent?'

Sango looked at him with unmistakable confusion. She was more than a little annoyed that he didn't even bother to flirt with her. After all, this was one of the only few times they had been alone since they met. "Miroku, you really just want to play a card game? Alright, sounds innocent enough. We might as well do something to entertain ourselves while we wait for the others to return. Did Kagome remember to bring back the cards?"

"Yes, I believe they are in her school bag. I'll go see if I can find them." Miroku went inside the hut in search of Kagome's bag that she had brought back with her. When he came out however, he was wearing a look of utter confusion. 'What exactly was that thing I saw in there, and what would Kagome be doing with such a thing?'

Sango looked at Miroku in wonder. 'What could he have seen in there that made him so uncomfortable?' "What is it Miroku, couldn't you find them?"

_**What kind of secrets were revealed when Miroku went through Kagome's '**__**very**__**' private backpack? Read the next chappie to find out. Lots of perverted goodness in there, involving a book, a device that Miroku doesn't know how to work, and some kind of balloon thing. Lucky for Miroku the book explains it all. Please review. Please, please, please, please I'll keep going until someone reviews. Please, please, please…. you get the point. Love you guys. No really, I do. If you came this far it must not have bore you to tears.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hope you guys enjoy. Let me know if you hate it. This is kind of a teaser. Please don't hate me.**_

_**Disclaimer: the usual**_

**Messed Up Romance**

**Chapter 3**

(Let us recap, shall we? Miroku had just seen something odd in Kagome's very private backpack.)

(_"Yes, I believe they are in her school bag. I'll go see if I can find them." Miroku went inside the hut in search of Kagome's bag that she had brought back with her. When he came out however, he was wearing a look of utter confusion. 'What exactly was that thing I saw in there, and what would Kagome be doing with such a thing?'_

_Sango looked at Miroku in wonder. 'What could he have seen in there that made him so uncomfortable?' "What is it Miroku, couldn't you find them?")_

(Back to Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo.)

(What's this, you want to know what's in the bag, be patient? Am I evil or what?)

Inuyasha was happy when they finally found the spot where Kaede was known to pick wild herbs. Even though he enjoyed carrying Kagome on his back so much, he had to admit that the feelings he was beginning to have were getting to be too much. His whole body felt like it was on fire. His cheeks were still red from Shippo's comment earlier.

"We're here, so you guys can get off my back. Shippo if you ever dig your damn claws into my shoulder like that again, I'll rip them out." Inuyasha tried to act like he was angry to hide the fact that the redness in his face was from him blushing.

"I was not digging my claws into you. Besides, if I did, it would have been your fault. You go so fast that it feels like I'm going to fall off."

"You calling me a liar Shippo?"

"Now, now Inuyasha, fight nice. He's smaller than you, so you should be the bigger man and stop the fight."

"See, I'm right and you're wrong so there." Shippo stuck out his tongue at the half demon again, but this time he didn't make it to Kagome's arms before Inuyasha grabbed him by his neck. He turned Shippo to make him look him in the eye. "Do you want to do that again?"

Kagome was getting tired of this. She reached out and took Shippo from Inuyasha. Then she asked Inuyasha, "Do you want to do 'that' again?" Then she turned her attention to the smiling kitsune. "Don't you do that again either Shippo. We've been too lenient with you so far; don't press your luck with me today."

Inuyasha decided it wasn't worth being sat over. He immediately went to work at sniffing the ground for any trace that the old priestess had been there. 'No luck, I wonder if she was ever out here. I'm not catching the faintest trace of her scent.'

"Shippo, why don't you help Inuyasha? Two noses are better than one. In the meantime, I'll work on collecting some herbs. We might need medicine if we end up fighting Naraku." Kagome walked a little further into the trees to search for said herbs, leaving the other two to their duty.

"Alright, let's see. This one helps to clot your blood. This one is a fever reducer. I think this is the one that Kaede said helps reduce toxins in the blood. Miroku will definitely need this one, and the one to clot your blood, Inuyasha is always getting big gaping wounds."

Kagome put each and every one in her arms. She wished that she had brought her backpack with her, but she didn't want Inuyasha sneaking a peek inside of it. "That would not be good. It would be so embarrassing to have to explain what those things are for." (_Don't worry, I will explain a few things to you pervs a little later._)

As Kagome looked down at the ground for another herb, she heard a rustling in the bushes. When she looked up, she saw a small child bounding out of the bushes. The child ran up to Kagome with tears in her eyes.

"Rin, what's wrong; are you lost?"

"Yes, I can't find Lord Sesshomaru or Master Jaken anywhere. I left on Ah Unn to search for food, but they ran off and left me all alone. Please pretty lady, help me."

"Alright, let me tell…. on second thought, I don't think it's a good idea to tell Inuyasha about Sesshomaru being near. I'll go with you. Maybe I can try to sense his demonic aura."

Rin was ecstatic. Kagome was the only woman she had any contact with, since her mother and her big sister were killed by the wolf demons. She held onto her hand as though it were gold. She felt so happy just being near another female human again.

Kagome thought she could vaguely sense a demonic presence. 'Maybe Sesshomaru is somewhere nearby.' She looked further ahead, and sure enough, she saw the sight of the most beautiful silvery, white hair of any demon she had ever seen. (_Before you yell at me, half demons not included. She still thinks her cute little doggie Inu is the hottest.)_

Sesshomaru sensed her coming before she was ever seen walking out of the forest. He stayed leaning against his tree as though he didn't even notice her at all. 'Man, the arrogance of this guy.' Kagome walked up to him with a swinging Rin still hanging onto her hand. She just wouldn't let go.

"Sesshomaru, I think I found something that belongs to you. Rin got lost in the woods while she was searching for food. She was frightened so she asked me to help her find you."

(Far, far away in a castle behind an invisible barrier.)

"Kanna, come here so I can get a closer look. Well, well, well, this is interesting. What will you do Inuyasha? When your mate falls in love with your half brother how it will crush you. This is even better than I had hoped. I never expected her to run into Sesshomaru."

Naraku ordered Kagura to prepare the ingredients for the incantation. When she finished this, Naraku began chanting words in a strange, long forgotten language. "It will take mere moments my dear. Soon you will find yourself falling for this demon."

"If it pains you Inuyasha, come to me and I will rid you of your sorrow at the point of a katana. Ha, ha, ha, ha. This is going to be interesting."

_**Oh no, what ever will they do? Read on to find out. Please review it does my heart good. Lovies to all, and hugs and kisses too. Not a gay thing if you're a girl, and guys I'm not hitting on you, I swear. So tell your girlfriends to stop sending me death threats.**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**I know, I know, you guys are all so angry with me for keeping you from the goodies for so long, aren't you? Well look no further, because here it is, finally the infamous 'Kagome's secrets revealed' chapter. All is about to be revealed about our heroine's secret backpack, and maybe a little more. Keep your pants on ladies and gentlemen because I will be showing you whom Kags falls for in the next chapter. This one is clearly meant to embarrass our girl. Oh, and to show a few more interesting little tidbits, like, I don't know, whom Miroku and Sango will fall for maybe. Who knows, you'll just have to read to find out.**_

_**Disclaimer: I am not saying it again. It's the same as the last chapter.**_

**Messed Up Romance**

**Chapter 4**

When Miroku came out of the hut wearing that oh so confused look on his beautiful face, Sango was a little worried.

'Maybe he didn't find the cards, or was it something else? Oh no, didn't Kagome tell me something about having something embarrassing in her backpack? She didn't say what it was, but she told me she would die if Inuyasha would ever find it in there. I guess that's why she was always telling Shippo to stay out of her bag all the time. And here I thought it was because she didn't want him to gorge himself on the candy she always brought him.'

Sango began to laugh. She quickly caught herself and started trying to stifle her laughter. It came out as a snort that made her feel like laughing even harder.

Miroku was more than a bit intrigued by her little snort. 'Aww, that's so cute, my lovely Sango just snorted. Wait a minute, why was she just laughing? Does she know about the mysterious things I found in that bag?'

"Sango, do you know what those things are for that I found in Kagome's backpack? If you do, please tell me, I am at a loss as to why Kagome would have such perverted things in her possession. At least I think they're perverted, I have to admit, I don't know exactly what all those things are."

Sango managed to rein in her laughter just enough to stare at Miroku in wonder.

'What in the world is he talking about?' "Miroku what kind of perverted things could Kagome possibly have in her backpack? I don't believe that for a second. Kagome would never own anything like….."

Miroku cut her off just as her mind was about to click. 'That must be what she didn't want Inuyasha to see.'

"You don't believe me Sango?" Poor Miroku looked as though he were hurt that she would brush him off so easily. "Wait right here, I'll go get the culprit and show you myself exactly what I mean."

Miroku walked back into the hut and returned in lightning speed. He looked almost like a kid in a candy store.

'This is it; finally, I'm going to prove to Sango, once and for all, that I'm not the only pervert in our little group. Even our dear sweet Kagome can be a little on the perverted side. We all know how perverted Inuyasha can be. I can hear him sometimes when he thinks no one is near. It's always her name he's calling out. At least I don't do stuff like that. I have never felt the need to… umm… you know. That's because I always have hoards of girls following me, but, then again, oh hell, who am I kidding, I never actually take the girls that throw themselves at me. It's always the hard to get girls that drive me wild, and there in lies the problem. I have no girl willing to pleasure me, and those that are; they are the few that are trying to throw themselves at me. I am then forced to….. umm, you know, take matters into my own…. (blush) hands.' (_I'm sorry guys; I'm such a pervert sometimes._)

(_This little tidbit of information explains a lot, doesn't it? My theory is correct; Miroku gets off on women rejecting him, hence the reason he's always smiling after Sango slaps him. If he really hated being slapped, don't you guys think he would have stopped groping her by now, or at least told her exactly how he feels about her so she would let him fondle her? It's just a thought._)

"Miroku, what's going on? Are you going to show me what you found in that bag, or what; and why are you blushing like that all of a sudden. What's going on in that lecherous head of yours?"

"What's going on in my head??" Miroku got another bit of a sparkle in his very pretty, lavender eyes. "In due time my dear Sango, in due time."

Miroku looked through the bag and proceeded to pull out various items. 'Where is it; it was just here.'

One thing after another was pulled out of the little bag; it seemed to be crammed more than any backpack had a right to. Sango looked through the things as he pulled them out. 'Kagome's hair brush, her bunny slippers, and her bible. Nothing perverted yet, what's he talking about?'

(_Why does Kagome have a bible in her bag? I had to have some semblance of goodness in this here fic. I've drug my God through the muck and mire with this one. He goes everywhere with me after all. I should be ashamed; I am a little._)

Oh no, what is this, Kagome's box of tampons? Remembering what Kagome told her they were used for; Sango's face started getting hot. Fortunately, Miroku was too involved in what he was doing to notice the pretty blush that had crept across her visage.

"Ahah, here it is my dear." Miroku pulled out a pink box. It had strange writing on it that neither Miroku nor Sango were able to read. Written in English, were the words:

'Happy birthday Kagome, we hope you enjoy this little gift. Maybe you can use some of this stuff with your hunky boyfriend. You know, the one that stole you from Hojo? He is cuter than Hojo, we have to admit, but be careful when putting them on Kagome. You don't want any problems sneaking up on you.'

Love, Eri, Ayumi, and Yuka

Miroku opened the box and presented Sango with another box with the words 'dual pleasure' written on it. This was in Japanese so Miroku was able to read it. He read the box aloud to Sango. "For the safety of you and your partner against sexually transmitted diseases, it is recommended that you wear a condom every time during intercourse. For added protection it is recommended that you use a birth control pill, as not every condom is a 100 percent guaranty against unwanted pregnancies."

Sango looked as though she were about to faint. All the blood had rushed to her head, so that now her face was the color of a ripe, red delicious apple.

Miroku continued pulling things out of the box. 'Oh no, there's more.' Sango looked on in horror as Miroku pulled yet another embarrassing thing out of the offensive, pink box. All though, she didn't know what in the world this thing could be.

"I have no idea what this is; we'll just put this aside for now. I found this book in here too. It's called 'The Art of Sexual Exploration'; I wonder what this could be. Sounds pretty perverted to me. What about you Sango?"

Miroku looked over to where Sango had curled up into a little ball on the ground. He smiled as he heard her whispering. "Oh no, it can't be. Kagome is as much a pervert as Miroku. Does this mean that I'm now surrounded by these depraved perverts?"

Miroku decided it was best to leave her to her reverie. He read the first chapter of the book 'Woman Know Thyself'. It was a fascinating chapter, filled with all kinds of information on what a woman likes and does not like when she is exploring herself. The next chapter in particular was a little confusing; it stated something about using something called a rabbit.

Miroku raised an eyebrow in concentration. 'She uses a bunny for pleasure? How would that work? This is rather confusing. Wait a minute, that other box I pulled out…. What was it called again?'

Miroku grabbed the box that he set aside earlier and read the name on the front of it. It said 'Rabbit' on it. He began reading the directions on the box. 'This is so intriguing; I wonder if I can get Sango to let me try this out with her.'

Just as Miroku was about to flip to the next chapter, he heard something approaching. He quickly put everything back into the box and put all of Kagome's things back into her bag the way he found it, as best he could. Being the pervert that he is, Miroku opened the box of condoms and pulled a few out to use just in case. He stuffed them in his pocket and rushed to put the backpack back into the hut right where he found it.

He was more than a little relieved when he saw that it wasn't Kagome and the others returning, but it was Lady Kaede. 'Phew, I was worried that I would get caught there for a moment.'

Kaede walked over to Miroku and stared at him with a look that said, 'I know ye are up to something Monk.' "Monk, why do ye look so flushed and seem like ye are out of breath?"

"Uh, no reason Lady Kaede." Then he remembered the reason for Inuyasha and Kagome's absence. "Lady Kaede something happened to us on the way back to the village from Kagome's well."

In the meantime, Naraku had just tuned into the conversation via Khana's mirror. "The Monk and the old priestess, perhaps I could make the monk fall for her. Oh what to do, what to do. I'm having a lot more fun with this than I thought I would."

Miroku had just finished explaining their predicament. "I see, well, we should be able to stop Naraku if we find a demon that is capable of canceling out Naraku's spell. I don't think that putting up a spiritual barrier will help in this case since the others are out there looking for me without any barrier. We would still have to find a way to stop this spell. Ye can't live in a spiritual barrier my boy."

"Your right, I would get tired after a while and we both know that you're not as young as you used to be Lady Kaede."

Kaede was a little annoyed by his comment about her age. "Young man, I am indeed much older than ye, but that only means I have much more experience than ye." As she stared at him, her expression began to change. There was a hint of something other than annoyance in her eyes. "I do indeed have much more experience than ye. If only ye knew the number of men that have sampled these lips in my youth."

Miroku's mouth was wide open. She sidled up to the unsuspecting young man. She reached out and rested her hand firmly on his backside. Miroku wheeled around and lost his balance falling to the ground and pulling her down with him. He lay there in a daze on top of her.

"Well my boy, this is a pleasant surprise. I had no idea that ye had the same kind of inkling as I."

Miroku scrambled to get up, but the old woman kept him there, all the while, she continued palming his tush. He was getting very red faced and not out of anger.

Sango looked up from her ball just in time to see Miroku falling on top of the old woman. "Miroku, what the hell are you doing with Kaede; and why is she groping you?"

Miroku looked at Sango with the cutest puppy dog eyes; he looked so cute that it made her giggle. "Help me Sango, please. Lady Kaede is possessed."

Through fits of giggles, Sango finally managed to pry the priestess' hands off her favorite hotties tush.

As Miroku stood, Sango had to jump in front of him, as Kaede tried again to lunge at the poor guy.

(Here we are, in the castle again.)

"This is just too good." Naraku was rolling on the floor laughing. "I knew it would be funnier to have the old hag fall in love with the monk instead. Poor monk, this is going to haunt him for the rest of his life. I doubt he will ever be able to look at a woman the same way again."

(_He obviously doesn't know Miroku as we do. Nothing will ever keep him away from the ladies, except maybe for Sango's glares._)

"I shall see how the miko is doing. Kana I want to see Inuyasha's wench now. What?? How did that happen?"

_**I wonder what could have surprised Naraku like that. You'll all just have to wait until next time. I already know what he was surprised by, but you don't. (Sticks tongue out at readers.) Am I right; was it funnier to have Miroku on the receiving end of such unwanted advances? Please review.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**I hope you guys aren't too mad at me for having all these little cliffies, but you have to admit, it's a good way to keep you coming back. That's not the only reason for them though; I just like torturing you. I'm not so nice a person, huh? (Everyone shakes their heads in agreement.) Hey, you weren't supposed to answer that people. (sniff) Meanies!**_

_**By the way, I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry that I've kept from updating this and my other fics. I hope I haven't lost too many readers. I've come up with a plan to fix my problem. I'll tell you about that later. No more delay, now onto the story.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own it, alright?**_

**Messed Up Romance**

**Chapter 5**

(Recap of the last four chapters.)

(After a very funny argument between Inuyasha, Kagome, and Miroku, the group had a little visit by Naraku. He reveals to them his sinister plot to cast a spell over the group when they least expect it. Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo go searching for Kaede, while Miroku and Sango stay behind to await her return. Naraku sees an opportunity to hurt Inuyasha by making Kagome fall in love with his hated older brother, Sesshomaru. While his spell takes its time to work its magic, he decides to pay a visit to the monk and demon slayer. Seeing a great opportunity to humiliate this lecher, he proceeds to cast a spell over the old miko, making her fall for the handsome monk. Now lusting for Miroku, Kaede attacks the poor monk. Laughing his fool head off, Naraku decided to check back on the young miko. _"I shall see how the miko is doing. Kana I want to see Inuyasha's wench now. What?? How did that happen?"_)

Sesshomaru sensed her coming before she was ever seen walking out of the forest. He stayed leaning against his tree as though he didn't even notice her at all. 'Man, the arrogance of this guy.' Kagome walked up to him with a swinging Rin still hanging onto her hand. She just wouldn't let go.

"Sesshomaru, I think I found something that belongs to you. Rin got lost in the woods while she was searching for food. She was frightened so she asked me to help her find you."

* * *

Kagome stares at the demon standing before her. How can he just stand there as if he doesn't even hear me? What do I have to do to get his attention, stand on my head? "Sesshomaru, what's your problem? Don't you even care that Rin was lost? How dare you just ignore me like that!"

Sesshomaru was getting a bit annoyed by this woman's insolent behavior. He showed just how much by growling low in his throat. It was just barely loud enough for Jaken to hear.

Jaken jumped up in front of them and started yelling at Kagome. "How dare you speak to my master that way you wretched girl! He is the Lord of the western lands. You will show him the proper respect. Right my lord?"

Sesshomaru was about to scold Jaken for his outburst, but he stopped himself when he noticed that the woman's demeanor had changed. "What is this woman? Why do you smile at me?"

"At you? Why would I be smiling at you? You're not nearly as beautiful as …… my Jaken!", she squealed as she ran over to where the little guy stood, dragging Rin with her. She grabbed him up and plastered him with kisses.

"Get off of me! Lord Sesshomaru, help me; please my lord." Sesshomaru wasn't about to do anything of the sort. He loved seeing his vassal in such an embarrassing situation. His lips began to curve up into a smile.

Through Kagome's breaks for air, Jaken just barely managed to speak to his lord. "Oh no, you're smiling my lord. Does that mean that you refuse to help me?"

Finally, Rin let go of her hand. Laughing at the sight of Jaken being hugged to death by Kagome, she ran off towards a field of flowers. "Stupid girl, don't laugh at my agony, help me!" Rin ignored Jaken's words and began picking daffodils while singing her little heart out. "Lord Sesshomaru likes flowers. Rin picks flowers for Lord Sesshomaru. Jaken yells 'Stupid girl.' Jaken holds his head in pain." (_AN: I never said she was good at making up songs or that I was for that matter. Lol_)

(Here we are back in the woods with Inuyasha and Shippo.)

Inuyasha and Shippo were hard at work trying to find the old woman. There wasn't a trace of her scent anywhere. Inuyasha looked up from sniffing the ground to tell Kagome that they might as well go back, but he couldn't see her there.

"Shippo, where did Kagome go?"

"She went a little further into the woods to find some of the herbs that we'll….." Shippo stopped himself short. He looked around and scanned their surroundings. "Inuyasha, do you smell something? It smells like a demon."

They had been so engrossed on finding the old woman, that they hadn't noticed when the scent of this demon had first wafted into the air.

Inuyasha took a deep whiff of the atmosphere surrounding them. He turned up his nose when he focused in on the recognizable scent. "I know this scent, it's Sesshomaru." 'Damn him, what's he doing here and where the hell is Kagome?'

Inuyasha ran towards the scent of his half brother. When he got there, he saw Kagome walking towards Sesshomaru with a child hanging onto her hand. After telling Sesshomaru of her reasoning behind her appearance, Kagome began speaking to him in that tone of voice that Inuyasha knew all too well.

Just then, he saw Jaken jump up in front of Kagome. Inuyasha heard the grating sound of that toad's voice, as he chimed in about his annoyance of her treatment towards his master. He watched in horror as Kagome started loving on the toad demon. Inuyasha stormed over to where the others stood, just as Rin was running off towards a field of daffodils.

"What the hell's going on here!?" Inuyasha screamed at Kagome as she kissed and hugged the life out of the irritating toad demon. "Kagome? How the hell can you kiss him? I thought that you and I, that we….."

Just then, Shippo came into view. "Kagome must be under the spell Inuyasha. Think about it. She said that she didn't want to kiss anything gross like a toad, remember? Why would she say that then turn right around and kiss a toad demon?"

Inuyasha hated to admit it, but the brat was right. "Fine, but we better get her away from that toad before things get any uglier. Sesshomaru had better not get in my way."

"Hey you, ugly! Get the hell away from my woman before I rip you to shreds with my claws!"

Kagome just continued to squeeze the poor toad until it looked like his eyes would pop out. While gasping for air, he somehow managed to beg Inuyasha for help. This awarded him a dirty look from his lord, but he didn't care. If lord Sesshomaru wasn't going to help him, then he wasn't above asking his younger brother for help. Besides, the woman was his wench, if anyone could control her, it would be him.

Sesshomaru grabbed the woman by the arms and shook her violently until Jaken fell from her grasp. He landed on the ground with a thud. Sesshomaru stepped closer to the woman. In so doing, he stood on the demon's head. His voice muffled by the fact that his master was now standing on his face, Jaken said, "Fank oou my oord." _(AN: In case you don't understand muffled toad speak, that's 'Thank you my lord'. Duh.)_

"Now woman, you will tell me what this intrusion is all about." He stared at her with impassive eyes. He was going to get a little information out of this wench if he had to drag it out of her. He squeezed her arms even tighter, causing her to wince.

"Get your hands off of her you filthy demon!"

Inuyasha was maddened with anger. His eyes began to glow red and Sesshomaru noticed that the scent of his blood was beginning to change. Inuyasha lunged for his half brother with murderous intent. Sesshomaru dodged his initial attack.

As Jaken ran to his master's defense, Kagome sprang into action to protect her love. She ran in front of Inuyasha and scooped Jaken up into her arms. "SIT!" She just narrowly missed being skewered by Inuyasha's claws, as she spoke the word of submission just in time to save her own life and the life of her treasured toad demon.

"SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT, SIT!" In succession, she spoke the word that Inuyasha hated most in all the world. "Inuyasha, how dare you try to hurt my precious Jaken. What were you thinking lunging at him like that? I love him Inuyasha, don't you see that?"

Inuyasha had now recovered from the stupor that was caused by his overpowering demonic blood. As he stood, he began trying to explain his actions. It would be no use trying to reason with her now. How could he convince her that she wasn't really in love with the fool? "I wasn't thinking Kagome. I was being controlled by my demonic side. I would never have hurt the little loo-er… umm… guy."

"Fine! But if you so much as touch one wart on my lover's head, I'll S-I-T you so hard, it'll break every bone in your body!!" Inuyasha wasn't about to doubt her. The murderous intent that lay in the raven-haired beauty's eyes was enough to convince him that she meant business.

"Kagome? Do you remember the spell put on us by Naraku?" Shippo stared at her through tears. He didn't like seeing his protector being used by Naraku like this. "Huh, a spell? Yeah, I remember, something about falling in…" Then it hit her. "Are you saying that I, that Jaken, that we're under this spell?"

"Speak for yourself human! Put me down!!" Jaken had about enough. He was going to get away from this psycho if it was the last thing he did. The little toad squirmed in her arms relentlessly, trying to free himself, but to no avail.

Suddenly, realizing that she was still holding onto a dirty toad demon, Kagome dropped poor Jaken on his head. "Ouch, what did you do that for, you dirty human!?"

"Oh, my poor Jaken, I'm so sorry sweetie." Her hand flew to her mouth as she realized what she just said.

Sesshomaru raised his eyebrows. This was beginning to peak his interest. Not that he cared about the girl or his stupid half brother, but the brat mentioned something about Naraku. "Kit, what is this of Naraku?" Shippo dried his eyes and looked up at the scary dog demon.

"It's a spell; Naraku put a spell on us. Whoever we're looking at, we fall in love with. So far, only Kagome's fallen under it, but who knows what's been happening to the others while we're gone and we still can't find Kaede."

Turning to Inuyasha, Shippo suddenly began to cry. "Oh Inuyasha, what are we going to do?" Inuyasha just started at the ground. "Inuyasha!"

"Shut it you brat! I'm thinking!" Inuyasha gave him a little tap… okay, it was a big tap. It left a goose egg on the kitsune's head. "If we go back to the hut and Kaede's not there, then what? We need to find an alternative. Let's go get the others and see what they think our next move should be."

Turning to Kagome, he looked at her with sad eyes. "Kagome, I'm… let's head back now before it gets dark."

He just couldn't bring himself to say it. It was his fault that all this happened in the first place. If he hadn't been a jerk, they would have noticed Naraku sooner and maybe… 'Why can I never just say I'm sorry? One of these days, she might leave and…' He couldn't bring himself to finish that thought.

"Come on Kagome, we don't have all day." Inuyasha crouched down to let Kagome climb on his back.

"But, but… what about Jaken? I can't just… oh, wait, what am I thinking? Yeah, let's hurry." She climbed on his back and looked back at Sesshomaru, Jaken, and little Rin as Inuyasha began running towards their destination. A sad look was in her eyes. A small part of her was heartbroken to have to leave Jaken behind.

"Inuyasha! We forgot Shippo!" Inuyasha growled in annoyance and turned around to retrieve the brat.

"How could you guys just leave me back there?" Shippo whined into Inuyasha's ear as they took off again towards the hut. "Shut up Shippo, you're lucky we came back at all."

Sesshomaru watched the trio leave as he thought of this interesting turn of events. 'Perhaps I should follow them. They're bound to run into Naraku.'

Sesshomaru began to walk towards Ah-un. "Rin, come here." Rin ran to her Lord with flowers in hand, laughing and smiling the whole time. "My Lord, look. Aren't they beautiful?" Sesshomaru just nodded and motioned for her to get on Ah-un. "Yes my Lord." Dutifully, Rin obeyed.

Walking towards Sesshomaru, Jaken wondered where their journey would take them next. "Where are we going now my Lord?" Sesshomaru ignored his question and started rising into the air. Jaken ran to him and jumped. Clinging to his Lord's tail, again he asked him where they were headed.

"Jaken, be quiet." Sesshomaru flashed Jaken a look that he recognized. It meant he better shut up or he'd be falling to the ground and forced to run to keep up with his Lord.

"The fun is just beginning Sesshomaru." Naraku turned away from the mirror and towards his other creation. "Kagura, why don't you go and see if you can't stir things up?"

'What is he up to? Is there any point to this madness?' As she pulled out a feather and walked towards one of the windows, Kagura glared at him. She couldn't figure out what was going through this bastard's head.

She left through the window and flew towards Inuyasha's group, the poison insects leading the way. 'I wonder if he'll be there.'

"This is going to be beyond interesting. What will happen to my little pawn after what I have planned for her?"

_**Ooooh, what is it he has planned? I'm sure many of you can guess. I know it's been a while, but please review.**_

_**ps: I'm going to stick with this story for a while and try to finish it. I think having three stories at once may have been too much for me. My creativity fizzled out too soon. Again, I'm sorry for the long delay and I apologize to those of you who want my other stories updated. I'll try to get this finished soon so you won't have to wait too long. I'll do one story at a time and a few one shots in between from now on. Well, that's the plan.**_


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